A letter to Chris

Here is a letter to my partner about how I am playing games with him in order to show him what it is like for what he does to me, without knowing he is doing it. I've just realized that it is a passive aggressive attempt at proving a point to him.

Dear Chris,
I am playing games with you and I have just realized it. You like physical affection and like attention. That I know. I also like attention from you and some physical affection. THings turned a while back when you started getting more into technology and I felt that you started to neglect me and our relationship. I became not necessarily secondary to your computer, phone, programming, etc. but that became your escape from me. Well, that is how I started to view your use of technology. We would be in with people or in the middle of dinner and you would pull out your phone to check something. A common sequence of events is that you pull out your phone at the beginning of the meal to take pictures to document the meal. This leads to you wanting to post it on some social media site and that leads you to get somewhat distracted from dinner because now you are reading what is happening on the social media site with all your followers, friends, subscribers, et al. This, after a while, began to feel like you weren't paying attention to me or the situation. You looked bored and as if not enjoying yourself. I didn't know what to do to pull you back into the present, back into what we were doing together. I began to play games with you. I began to start ignoring you in ways in hopes that you would realize how it felt to be ignored and you would then stop ignoring me. That stage never happened. I subconciously thought that you would realize this but logically I understand, now, that it is a passive aggressive way of telling you that I am being hurt. I continued to ignore you in certain aspects (i.e. physical contact, love) still hoping you would get it. Now, I look at it and it seems stupid and ridiculous that I was doing that to you. You can't see that I am being hurt and cannot see, even more, the subtle ways that I have been thinking about how to make you pay attention to me. This is all new to me and I still have plenty to think through and expand on. I suppose the question right now is that if I tell you that you are hurting me by looking at your phone so often, if you could change that behavior.

More later,
Alex